How Do You Show Your Children You Love Them?

 

It was a gusty day and my mind was on catching a flight to Kansas City, as I drove through our crowded city streets.

My daughters had to be dropped off at school because of their Social Studies projects that would surely get destroyed if brought on to the bus.

We were on time but I was impatient. Traffic was backing up and I was stressed. As my mind jumped from the traffic to the hope that my flight would not be delayed due to the wind, I suddenly realized my girls were both talking … to me. They were telling me about some of their classes, their annoyances with some of the boys in the cafeteria, and the grades they hoped to get. I wasn’t listening.

I was preoccupied, in fact. So much so that I was missing the most important conversation—one with my beautiful daughters.

Before I knew it, we were in front of their school. I helped them lift their project out of the car and secure it safely in the swift wind before pulling away. Before I did though, I rolled the passenger window down and told them, “I love you both. Have a good day. I’ll see you when I get home on Saturday.” They smiled and disappeared into the school.

And so it went. On with my day … on with my ever-so-important flight out of town! But as I drove toward the airport, the thought suddenly crossed my mind—“Do they really know I love them?” Sure I tell them. And for the most part, I show them. But do they know in the depths of their heart that dad loves them? Is it black and white? Or, is there gray? Is there uncertainty? Maybe my rushed schedule leaves things this way? Maybe my constant pre-occupation with my work causes them to wonder.

Some may say I’m over-reacting a bit, even beating myself up too much. “Kids are resilient! They know you’re busy. And they know in their hearts that you love them!”

But do they? Is resting in this so-called truth really good enough? I’m not sure it is.

So, I’ve decided something when it comes to my love for my children. Two big questions started bouncing around in my mind that day, as I quickly drove toward the airport. To be honest, it was a gut-check. I decided that I had to answer them not once, but every day of my life, if I wanted to be certain my children knew how deep my love for them really is …

Have I Told Them?

I’ve been given some great gifts—a voice. A heart. Words.

Do I use these precious gifts to tell my children how much they mean to me, how much I love them? Do they hear it from me every day? Love is saying “I love you,” but it’s also saying, “I believe in you,” “I’m proud of you,” “You are awesome!”

Am I paying attention enough to the things my children are proud of, to be proud of them too? My daughter raises her grade in science and she’s happy. Do I show my happiness? Do I tell her how proud I am of her?

Before they lay their heads down at night for sleep, have they heard me say how much I love them? Are they the last words they hear as they drift off into a land of dreams?

My voice, my heart, and my words must be megaphones that project love to my children. But this is only the beginning. I have to answer a greater question next …

Have I Shown Them?

We live in a world where words are cheap. Turn on your television set, listen to your radio, or even listen to passers by on the street- words are tossed around like leafs in the wind. We over use words, especially “Love” words. We make a mistake, we say we’re sorry and we’ll never do that again. But will we? Do we really mean that? Or, are we word-smithing our way out of a situation that we’re bound to find ourselves in down the road?

Our children are clued in, my friend. Yes, we need to tell our children and our spouses that we love them. But in order to keep those words from growing cheap, or losing their luster, we must show love in our actions. Love must not only spill from our lips, but radiate from our being.

The way our loved ones, particularly our children, believe that we love them is when our words are backed up by actions. And that even applies to our mistakes. When we screw up, disappoint our children, and work to make it right, we cannot rest on our promises to “do better next time” alone. We must show this to our children. We must show the change within us, not only with our words, but also our actions.

source: yahoo.com